I’m so happy with my little blog, it has opened a whole new world to me, introduced me to so many people who understand, it’s helped me work through my feelings and process my grief. When I couldn’t understand myself enough to talk to those closest to me, writing gave me the out I needed. It helped me reflect, process and deal.

In a way my blog saved me.

I am thankful for every word, for every person who reads, comments and messages. I have found and read so many blogs of ladies (couples) in similar situations, who I relate and sympathize with. Reading these blogs helped me realise I am not alone and support is out there.

In a way those blogs saved me.

I get a lot from writing my posts, even if they are sporadic, I enjoy writing, and I find it relaxing and in this case therapeutic. I like the interaction I get, whether that be from my own posts or reading others.

My Blog has done a lot for me in the last 12 months.

But even though I know all this, and my blog is a happy thing for me, I still can’t help but feel a bit of sadness today.

I started my blog to help me find happiness, to write how I felt and how I dealt with all things post IVF.  But if I had had my way,  my little blog would never had been born, if life had gone to plan (to dream) by the time I wrote my first post I would have been a mum, more than once! The anniversary of my blog is another anniversary/milestone for me to count what we have been through.

If life had gone to plan, I would have had milestones like;

First Laugh
First word
Last time we got a decent night’s sleep
Last time I drank a warm cuppa
1st Birthdays
Announcing  little siblings

But in reality I count the last 6 years by

The date we started trying.
The date we first started at the hospital.
All 3 of my operations
Rounds of drugs.
Needles in my belly.
The date we decided to stop.

And now my blogs birthday.

Happy 1st Birthday Plan B.